Good Morning Children of Ichabod Crane,
In Washington Irving’s famous short story, he depicts the mild-mannered Crane riding for his life on old Gunpowder, hotly pursued by the “Headless Horseman.” Consumed with terror and being void of backbone, Ichabod pretty much knew he was toast. Some of you may remember that earlier in the evening Ichabod was dancing and generally coming on to the lovely Katrina Van Tassel much to the chagrin of the jealous Bram Bones. While it was never denied or confirmed in the story, it’s generally accepted that Bram had indeed bushwhacked the love struck school teacher. Nothing but a smashed pumpkin was ever found.
I was reminded of Ichabod’s fate this week, mostly because I was set upon by weasels and thieves. How does one fight greedy practitioners and governmental agencies bent on snuffing out all happiness left to me? Just as I think life’s rich pageant is about to award me a better role, my dance partner morphs from the lovely Katrina into a hideous circus fat lady; willing to suffocate then defecate on my humble life. Unless one is able to retain competent attorneys one is at the mercy of people like ‘Bram Bones’ to be bullied around.
Well not me! I’m not going to sit on my hands and do nothing! I’ll be damned if I’ll let these pricks destroy my life’s work with evil pumpkins! If it’s a fight they want, then they shall have it! I’m prepared to ‘go to the mattresses’ on this one. Having said this though, I haven’t put a plan together that would effectively counter the attack forged against me. As always I appreciate the two or three of you reading this ‘Jack o’ Lantern’ for your help in prior conflicts, but I’m afraid I must call on you once more. I need to raise a $20,000.00 legal war-chest. If possible, please make your donations in cash sealed in a plain envelope marked ‘zuki legal fund.’ Typically I can be found at Dewey’s but if I’m not there please tape the envelope underneath the eastern end of the bar. God bless you! This donation is considered tax deductible, and if you must write a check please send it to:
Marzuki’s Legal War-Chest
PO box 087
Littlewood, CO. 80120
Margo please release my angels! Not the ones Dv’ant sent you, rather the good ones you spoke of earlier.