Good Morning Plebeians,
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
I think we’re all in agreement here don’t you? In fact, just last night I was at the University discussing oil futures with several geniuses seated at the bar, when I was approached by a thin and frail looking man with a beard asserting he, and only he, could explain the truth about life’s rich pageant or some such ambiguity. Before I could ignore him he began to tell us of a fight or struggle against a great power that was fueled by emotion and demanded a human-made idol. He is to be worshiped daily, but will not promise anything because all situations do not end happily. He went on to explain there is usually a paranoid and dark atmosphere filled with unusual characters that once were normal members of society…and….I could sense this verbal onslaught was going to take some time, and of course within seconds our little panel was collectively glazed over. I interrupted him explaining the trivia game was about to begin and could no longer listen and then turned my back to him.
For most people this would have been enough to end the dialog, but this guy seemed to be on a mission and replied, “I’m a decent guy, what does it take for an outsider like me to hang out with you guys?” This floored me. First of all, why would anyone want to hang out with me or anyone else sitting there? Secondly, why initiate an introduction with some obscure soliloquy without context? This guy was in his early thirties and most certainly couldn’t have much in common with old farts unless of course he shares the same pathetic fact that we have no lives. If so, I suspect he’d have a case. I posed these questions to him to see how he’d respond, and to my surprise his lower lip began to quiver while his eyes welled up with tears. “Go fuck yourself” he lashed, and while sobbing walked out of the bar! You can’t buy that kind of entertainment…! We laughed half an hour at this mystery.
As time continues its relentless pace toward death, one must consider how best to ride the remaining sand in the hour glass. While the bar is not furthering science, feeding the poor, or adding to our longevity, we’d still prefer to be there. Christ, there’s only a few days left! Should one’s last few days be spent in a bar (Poo & Dv’ant are not to answer)? It might be wise to find God if he/she is still around. Pick up a hobby? Read classic literature? Work on an appropriate eulogy? Visit relatives via a 10 hour drive? My personal favorite; worry about sustaining life as I know it today.
No, who am I kidding here? Certainly not you drunkards; only myself! I’m not sitting at a bar because I like drinking alone, jeez, but the entertainment is always worth the trip.