Good Morning Priggish Drunks,
I suppose there’s certain high-handedness present when delivering an open letter of any kind, let alone to one’s drinking establishment. So let’s just say this is a case-in-point regarding the “Pot” and “Kettle” and leave it at that.
My remarks should in no way denigrate the patronage of Dewey’s and its wait staff. If somehow the following remarks offend or leave one feeling singled out, then perhaps you should examine your feelings of inadequacy and seek help. I mean no ill will.
I have enjoyed the time spent at my beloved Dewey’s and have had many memorable experiences that are tied to this house of mirth and drink. Who could forget Dv’ant splitting his pants to pick up a quarter, Touched being shoved to the floor still perfectly placed in her barstool, Just JOE wheeling ‘Filthy’ into the garbage bin area locking the gate, Griz’s weepy eyed rendition of “Three little Maids from School,” Bagwan’s scathing rebuke of women, Poo’s preoccupation with Vaseline and the Platte River, Cush’s mind-numbing conversations, Madcow’s self-medicated drooling, Dee Dee’s wonderful driving skills, Gigem’s Texas drawl, Saturday showdowns with Lil’s, Frank the shank’s melt-down, Tex’s hat fetish, fat patrons wetting themselves, and of course Dan the Bartender’s ass-flex hair-doo. The list of oddities is vast, and over the last 5 years this forum has documented hundreds of them. It’s safe to say most of my memories of Dewey’s are cherished, even with the occasional parking lot blow-job! Yet like everything else in life’s rich pageant, nothing stays the same.
At one point shortly after my divorce, I was introduced to a group of curmudgeons that gathered each evening (early afternoons) at ‘Pitchers’, ‘Breckenridge,’ and ‘Kahuna’s’ to play trivia. All three incarnations were housed in the same building. The group of course included Poo, Dv’ant, Griz, Madcow and yours truly, but also included several others that for various reasons no longer participate in this vast waste of time! I can’t begin to explain how delightfully funny and smart the interchanges were during this time before Dewey’s. It was a three hour period better than a movie or concert! It was unique, as each session tended to reflect current events or a blatant act of stupidity. Sadly though, once Kahuna’s closed its doors subsequent committee meetings never achieved that level of entertainment again.
Once moved to Dewey’s the attrition rate continued but we picked up a couple of assholes that contributed in a big way to making it fun again over the next three years. They’ve left without explanation, and our beloved ‘Curmudgeon Corner’ lost a significant source of chuckles with only sporadic jocularity left to us. It wasn’t all at once, and it wasn’t just our associated chemistry, as the bar has also begun to fall apart. Unfortunately the proprietor has let it go and insists on being a sports bar even when the patrons would prefer something else. It is quickly becoming home base for young lipped ring tattooed face lovers of chainsaw music willing to spoil what is otherwise a nice ambiance. It is a combination of the above that drives me to even suggest a new location a bit more accommodating to curmudgeons.
It may be time to say goodbye. While never sure of a timeline I plan to look in on you from time to time, and again hope nobody has taken this personally, but I’ve heard the stories at least 20 times, can’t abide Dewey’s attitude and/or its broken sound system. I’m tired of overriding the noise of screaming angry white kids worshiping Satan on the juke box. Perhaps I’ve just become old. Be that as it may, I wish you all the very best.