Good Morning Friends of Quantum,
Well the other shoe finally dropped. I got a letter from the I.R.S. Typically this is never good news, and had no reason to believe it was a refund. My personal feud with these harbingers of misery started 15 years ago when they refused to accept some very legitimate deductions. In subsequent negotiations, I became increasingly pissed by the condescending attitude of these fat, pencil-necked geeks. Three years later my debt had quadrupled thanks to penalty and interest charges 7 points higher than most loan sharks will gouge you for. This acrimonious relationship has contributed heavily to my agnostic beliefs today. A mere 15 years ago, I was a devout man of faith, and could think of nothing that would shake it.
I stand before you now a broken man. I literally prayed day and night for the earth to open up and swallow this collection of corpulent, indecorous, pompous bureaucrats, but to no avail. I can see it’s never going to happen. My faith is shattered. It’s not that I’m opposed to paying my share, it’s the additional 12% I must pay because I’m an independent contractor. This is outrageous! It seems arbitrary and a heavy burden for an individual to bear. If anyone knows why, please explain it to me. I’ve heard various explanations, none of which are satisfactory.
I must leave you now, gird up my loins, and prepare for battle. Please, if no one sees or hears from me in three days; please notify my children and tell them their Father has always meant well. Jeez.