Good Morning Tillers of Soil,
Well I couldn’t be happier with the outcome of Super Bowel 44 and hope those female nitwits at Mardi Gras will have the courtesy to display their tits longer than a three count. I’ve been fortunate enough to attend this religious holiday or ‘Carnival’ several years ago and the experience is still vivid in what’s left of my mind. Considering the raucous nature of Mardi Gras, I’m sure the two or three of you reading this beaded whore might be surprised to learn that the festival has religious roots. Festivities start in New Orleans each year on January 6, the Twelfth Night feast of the Epiphany — the day, tradition has it, that the three kings first visited Jesus Christ. Even though Mardi Gras has the blessing of the Roman Catholic Church, I suspect the true epiphany came when stepping in goat shit as they approached the manger. French for Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras is the day-long culmination of pissing in alleys, doorsteps, and while in line at Denny’s. While Mardi Gras most certainly has pagan, pre-Christian origins, the Roman Catholic Church legitimized the festival only because it’s the penitential season of Lent.
Although not able to attend this year, Madcow has begun Lent a bit early as he began the 100 days of sobriety early. Normally it doesn’t start until after the Super Bowl festivities. It’s an odd thing this Lent observance, pilgrims mark their foreheads with soot making vows and promises to give up something sinful, slothful, or otherwise bad for you. You have to ask yourselves if this pagan ritual is solely done to appease the accumulative guilt built up over the year, or is it simply a vehicle to act out what ever evil or depravity swirling in your head without fear of retribution? Unfortunately Madcow lacks the wherewithal to hatch anything bordering on naughty, so he drives everyone at ‘curmudgeon corner’ to the brink of insanity with his never ending whoa-was-me routine while letting us all know how miserable he is. DAMN IT if one is going to repent or live out the notion of turning over a new leaf, keep it to your friggin self! This will serve you well when you fail and return to slothful housecleaning in that no one will notice.
I had a conversation with Cush this weekend, or should I say I could overhear him cackling with the women in the kitchen oblivious to the game! He was so loud it was distracting. Given everyone was there to watch the big game, and he was so concerned nobody would show up, I found it odd he’d rather be in the kitchen discussing wall paper patterns and chili recipes than watch what was a pretty good game! A good gift idea for Cush next Christmas would be “The Complete Cooking Guide for Parties—A Compendium of Recipes for Morons” I haven’t got the heart to tell him this will no doubt be the last time the “Corner” comes for crackers! I asked our host if he was going to give up something for Lent, to which he replied, “What the fuck are you talking about?” I considered that a no.
I’m not sure about the pathos involved with this ‘Lent’ thing, and while most religions have their own forms of baptism or repentance, but I’m convinced it’s a man-made contrivance to avoid guilt. Remember guilt is a good thing! It establishes self-loathing, continual weeping, and more importantly, it thins the herd via suicide! This should be valued not avoided! All I can hope is either Dv’ant or Fez will take the high road and pull the plug!