HELP WANTED – acts of morons overwhelm diatribe

Good Morning Achievers,

I’ve been seriously stressed of late, and generally that doesn’t bring out the best in me. Working again full time, regardless of one’s endeavor, requires considerable effort. Meaningful work is something I’ve learned to value and don’t take for granted. Yet…, I treasure the time spent fooling around on this my humble blog. I think the ‘Diatribe’ has suffered since rejoining my family at work. Writing has to finish second to staying employed. I think everyone understands this and suspect most have just accepted it and learned to live with half-assed. However, I’m not going to take this quietly and have considered taking on someone who can help shoulder the burden of enlightenment necessary when doing cavity searches. Most don’t realize the emotional toll exacted by being the ‘town crier.’ While certainly it’s a labor of love, but now that I’ve jumped back into earning a living, most days I drag myself to the bar exhausted and in need of release. “I see stupid people.” Nearly everywhere I look there’s a story in need of telling and I’m honor bound to record it. The backlog has overwhelmed me and need help. More importantly though, the successful candidate must be oblivious to bodily fluids! I decided to post a “Help Wanted” ad on Craig’s list, but thought I’d share it with you first to perhaps gain insight from the two or three of you reading this tear sheet to enhance its effectiveness. Here’s the first draft:

WANTED: Unique person skilled in observation with an objective pre-disposition. While gender doesn’t matter as I’m legally bound to say, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a nice rack! The ideal candidate doesn’t hesitate to get dirty even if it involves personal suffering. Please understand you could be asked to give Bagwan a sponge bath (happy endings negotiable) and/or colon scrubbings, but please ask around first. Pay is determined by the ‘Rules Committee’ usually with a ‘what have you done for us lately’ mind set and generally based on a quid pro quo arrangement. If old people scare you, you should reconsider applying. For further deliberation contact Kyle to reserve a spot at ‘Curmudgeon Corner’

I’d really appreciate any edits or perhaps a complete re-write in your own words for that matter. C’mon!

zuki

Posted in Uncategorized

HELP WANTED – acts of morons overwhelm diatribe

Good Morning Achievers,

I’ve been seriously stressed of late, and generally that doesn’t bring out the best in me. Working again full time, regardless of one’s endeavor, requires considerable effort. Meaningful work is something I’ve learned to value and don’t take for granted. Yet…, I treasure the time spent fooling around on this my humble blog. I think the ‘Diatribe’ has suffered since rejoining my family at work. Writing has to finish second to staying employed. I think everyone understands this and suspect most have just accepted it and learned to live with half-assed. However, I’m not going to take this quietly and have considered taking on someone who can help shoulder the burden of enlightenment necessary when doing cavity searches. Most don’t realize the emotional toll exacted by being the ‘town crier.’ While certainly it’s a labor of love, but now that I’ve jumped back into earning a living, most days I drag myself to the bar exhausted and in need of release. “I see stupid people.” Nearly everywhere I look there’s a story in need of telling and I’m honor bound to record it. The backlog has overwhelmed me and need help. More importantly though, the successful candidate must be oblivious to bodily fluids! I decided to post a “Help Wanted” ad on Craig’s list, but thought I’d share it with you first to perhaps gain insight from the two or three of you reading this tear sheet to enhance its effectiveness. Here’s the first draft:

WANTED: Unique person skilled in observation with an objective pre-disposition. While gender doesn’t matter as I’m legally bound to say, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a nice rack! The ideal candidate doesn’t hesitate to get dirty even if it involves personal suffering. Please understand you could be asked to give Bagwan a sponge bath (happy endings negotiable) and/or colon scrubbings, but please ask around first. Pay is determined by the ‘Rules Committee’ usually with a ‘what have you done for us lately’ mind set and generally based on a quid pro quo arrangement. If old people scare you, you should reconsider applying. For further deliberation contact Kyle to reserve a spot at ‘Curmudgeon Corner’

I’d really appreciate any edits or perhaps a complete re-write in your own words for that matter. C’mon!

zuki

Posted in Uncategorized