10 YEAR OLD CLOSERS – zuki is backed into corner

Good Morning Closers,

I was enjoying a fine Pinot Noir with my ‘Crunchy Taco’s, listening to the Radio jamming air guitar with the help of Buddy Miles enveloped by the perfect buzz when I heard the doorbell ring. I was feeling pretty good about my immediate prospects in addition to having just visited with Quinn my grandson, and really didn’t appreciate being disturbed. As I meandered toward the door I couldn’t help but be blown away by how quickly my little guy is growing. I’m sure he’ll make many of the same mistakes I did, but honestly all one can do is hope they survive it. Never the less, I was at peace with myself.

I opened the door and was looking down on a couple of ten-year-old salesmen. Both of them had ‘Radio Flyer’ red wagons filled with electric shavers, coffee makers, cutlery, calendars, radios, gum, and assorted sundry items stacked three feet high secured by customized side rails! Holy Shit! I’ve been in sales for 25 years and have never witnessed the shtick proffered by these seasoned veterans.

Marvin was definitely the ringleader as evidenced by the level of bullshit. He and Stan alternated their pitch like news anchors. Just as one would tell you how the program had saved them both from being thieves and street toughs, the other chimes in with his ‘single mom’s’ struggle to prepare him for a college education and how this program was his only chance. By the end of the 3-minute pitch I was made to feel obligated and eternally grateful by purchasing some of the items in the wagon. Just as I paused to think, Marvin goes for the jugular. “Sir, doesn’t it make sense to support our program rather than having your home broken into?” I wish my sales people could close like that. Jeez. If I answer yes, I’ve committed to buy. Should I refuse, I risk retribution from unknown thieves? It was certainly a dilemma.

If anyone needs an electric shaver (no warranty) or a set of steak knives, please use the shout box and let me know, as both are still in their original packaging!


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