Good Morning Grim Reapers,
It’s urgent that I speak to the two or three of you reading this politer, in that it could be my last. I’ll be first to admit I tend to be morbid when speaking of my own health, but for me, it’s better to think the worst and be gratefully pleased than be surprised at the prognosis. There’s a certain fatalism we experience when writhing in pain, in that one physically suffers. There have been many that profess mental anguish is far worse than physical trauma. To that I say bullshit! I’m uniquely qualified to comment because I frequent both sides of this would-be debate and neither is pleasant. But let’s face it; I’d trade continual knifing pains in the gut, for a night of guilt anytime! I’m glad we put that to rest.
I tried this once before. I went in for a routine physical and was led to believe I either had Cirrhosis of the Liver or the organ was producing excessive iron. Neither was correct. This was followed by countless blood tests, tread mill tests, circulatory tracking isotopes that indicated a spot on the heart but couldn’t be sure it wasn’t my Diaphragm. At the end of my drama, I was still clueless as to what if anything was wrong with me. Meanwhile even with insurance it cost me nearly $4,500! As one of our own succinctly stated, “money, money, money” and there’s no other explanation. I have consulted my associates at the bar, browsed MedTV, and called Dr. Ruth with zero consensus.
I do not have the wherewithal to pursue this again and no doubt die before Obama’s highly touted healthcare kicks in leaving me to ingest Witch Hazel, St. John’s Wort, and Vitamin C to ride it out! Preventative medicine? I think that ship has sailed. I’ve made the cardboard box as comfortable as possible, and have plenty of water standing by.
I wish you all good health and may the Lord take a liking to ya..