GLUTTONY OVERTAKES YO YOS PARTY – zuki witnesses head sucking

Good Morning Victims of Confined Air,

I’ve been listening and burning music I plan to introduce to the young people at YoYo’s Crayfish party. I’m always flattered when I get invited to a party where I look like everyone’s father. To try and fit in without making trouble IS my biggest challenge. For the most part my experience at such a soirée has been mostly a pleasant one. It keeps me in touch as to why I am a curmudgeon and offer lessons of what’s important to twenty-thirty somethings. As documented on this forum numerous times planning an event this time of year is a tricky thing. As most Memorial Day activities go, spring time in the Rockies can deliver anything from a blinding snow storm to a 90° cloudless day. This year it rained hard and often scattering guests everywhere, ducking into garages or any dry spot to ride it out. The trouble with this forced co-habitation is one’s personal space is always violated; mostly by strangers trying to put a happy face on dire circumstances. 45 people including children are now breathing the same air often fouled by callow farting thinking the stench will somehow replace conversation. This is like having a party with Dv’ant! Still daylight and still under a tornado watch I couldn’t wait any longer for the only bathroom to open up, so I braved the elements. The horizontal rain pummeled my face when I rounded the corner placing myself between adjacent homes and with little care as to where, micturated on a budding rose bush. The sun peaked through momentarily but I was now drenched and ventured back to the party.

Everyone was sucking crayfish heads!

This ‘Cajun’ experience was shared by most party guests, but in my mind was similar to being offered raw oysters. Neither appeals to me but it’s always annoying to be publicly emasculated should I refuse to participate. Boiling them alive then biting their heads off sucking the contents out before shoving through the tail and directly into the mouth the white meat while discarding the carcass and reaching for another seemed a bit gluttonous to me. The feeding frenzy was enjoyed by all as evidenced by entrails and sauce smeared on faces and beards washed down with beer; It’s a sight I’ll not forget. No doubt I’m depriving myself of a wonderful culinary experience, but it’s just not in me.

I was actually enjoying myself and the rain seemed to be fleeting, so I went outside to partake of accoutrements suitable for the occasion. Just as I inhaled the last of it, I noticed a police car. The cop was driving slowly toward me consciously making eye contact. He pulled in the driveway and was immediately joined by a woman and a young girl I guessed to be in her teens. The teen pointed at me while nodding giving me that sick nauseous feeling of being in trouble again. Shit. Evidently while in ‘tropical storm’ mode and fertilizing the budding rosebush, the young woman witnessed the act while at her window, thought it funny and told her mother. Mom was incensed and I was facing arrest. I’ve heard about guys voiding in public and then face ‘public indecency’ charges; I wanted nothing to do with that. Subsequently after being allowed to tell my side of the story cooler heads prevailed. After my sincere heart-felt apology, Mom didn’t press charges and the cop gave me a ‘nice job’ nod and drove away. Jeez.

I suppose there’s a moral to this story but presently it escapes me.

Great party.


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