IM JUST SAYING – cannabis saves lives

Marijuana helps in battle against cancer: study

“The main chemical in marijuana appears to aid in the destruction of brain cancer cells, offering hope for future anti-cancer therapies, researchers in Spain wrote in a study released Thursday.

The authors from the Complutense University in Madrid, working with scientists from other universities, found that the active component of marijuana, tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), causes cancer cells to undergo a process called autophagy — the breakdown that occurs when the cell essentially self-digests.”

Good Morning Soporific Lotus Blossoms,

That’s an interesting word ‘self-digest,’ it conjures up a number of things but suspect Zantac will take care of most of them. I’m not sure but one would think the Madrid study explains much. When I think back to when I smoked daily, sometimes all day, I vaguely remember discussing the medicinal value of pot. I was convinced this lovely herb from Mother Nature would expand my creativity to levels beyond most mortals and astound my faculty advisers. Never mind I usually scrapped the idea in the sober light of day, but in my mind the potential of pot smoking was limitless. Of course my ongoing bout with reality quickly taught me that chronic use only serves to make one lazy and forgetful; neither result in a successful career.

Self-digestion or eating oneself needed a closer look to help me understand what I’ve speculated for years, in that this gift from God is a universal balm. Yet, how fucking ironic! As usual our government spends billions on dubious priorities based on political or religious dogma. Search and destroy missions resulting in countless tons of the precious weed to be burned with only the birds to enjoy it falling from the sky completely baked! Why not take the same dollars and create research centers to further cultivate its life giving uses. Toss in the cost of punitive testing and counseling mandated by the courts and our national debt would be erased in three years! This is all well and good, but my primary concern is how in the hell does THC cause one to eat oneself when outside the euphoria of pot smoking, the other most noticeable side effect is having the ‘munchies?’ For the two or three of you actually reading this ‘shotgun’ who’ve never partook, the munchies describe the abuser’s unyielding and insatiable hunger soon after smoking. Each year thousands of people die or severely injure themselves in kitchen fires or with butcher knives in desperate attempts to satisfy the craving while stoned. This seems contradictive, yet who are we to judge? Perhaps after a bit of research we’ll discover each property can be extracted separately and treat two disorders from a single natural compound.

I was discussing this new discovery with Tex and managed to sell her on the idea that weight loss might be achieved by putting THC to work on fat cells. She agreed and I volunteered to help her set it up. To lose weight she engaged in self-digesting to avoid tedious dieting and exercise normally associated with dropping a few pounds. I chained her refrigerator shut and locked it, giving the key to Dv’ant knowing how much he enjoys suffering of any kind. The only edible things left in range were rice cakes, water, coffee, and beef jerky. Once prepared, I obtained (legal medical research permit) enough pot to smoke continuously for thirty days. The theory proffered is that once fat cells are impregnated with THC just like cancer cells they’ll begin to digest themselves shedding fat effortlessly. If it worked I’d be first to market the idea netting at least a billion dollars.

Unfortunately two weeks into the experiment things began to unravel. After developing a deep chronic cough and banging her head continually on cabinet doors left open, Tex went stark raving mad! She broke down and confessed her inability to control the munchies. She rented cable cutters from Home Depot and snapped the lock then gorged herself on cheese burgers and potato chips with green onion dip. She cleaned it out including Cush’s world famous Beef Stew and drove to King Soopers to appease the God of Munchies! Before passing out she’d consumed two large Canadian bacon with Pineapple pizzas, half-gallon of Rocky Road, pound of chocolate chip cookie dough, and washed it down with Crème soda. When she came to she was disgusted to find herself covered in Twinkie wrappers, bits of jerky and cream filling smeared on everything. It was a mess. She cried inconsolably for hours.

I really didn’t notice weight loss but at the same time it’s hard to notice a gallon of water removed from the Pacific Ocean. I’m willing to concede the theory was farfetched, but felt obligated to discover the truth. Please join me in a collective thank you to our dear friend Tex. Even if my theory had merit, eating one’s own weight in junk food would be too much for self-digesting cells to overcome. A caring government would not let this happen so if this experience saves just one person from pain and humiliation then it will have been worthwhile.


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