CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG – opinions are like assholes

Good Morning Librarians of Litany,

It’s been said by wiser men than me, that to profit from another’s misfortune is our God given right! This seems to be the policy of our beloved democracy these days depending on who or what you believe. As one who lived through the ‘Great Depression,’ George Bernard Shaw said, “If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.” Sadly this observation has ‘trickled down’ beyond degreed professionals to include every moron and would-be expert in taverns and drinking establishments across this great land. ‘Curmudgeon Corner’ at Dewey’s is certainly no exception. I’ve always wondered how mass quantities of alcohol turn normally reasonable men and women into frothing opinionated nitwits incapable of intelligent discourse. Feeding off sound bites from a favorite news station, our well intentioned associates have managed to interpolate this feeder information as fact to support unsubstantiated theories that are screamed at you as if absolute truth! In my numerous rotations around the sun I’ve been involved in countless debates over religion, politics, women, raising children, and the ever popular ‘chicken or egg’ conundrum. Regardless of how badly we’d like to cling to our pitiful belief systems, I’ve determined there is only ONE truth! Pick your topic and ask questions or make a statement, one will be offered a wide variety of responses. Can they ALL be correct?

I have lived long enough to learn that arrogance and an attitude of intellectual superiority is counterproductive to persuasion. Throughout history this assumption that it must be true or they wouldn’t have said it has sent many to their deaths. Mass hysteria starts with a single idea expressed as truth. When the debate turns ugly and becomes personal by using such adjectives as moron, idiot, dipshit, or my personal favorite dickhead, civility takes a back seat to blathering chest beating. Humble pie is always bitter. Most of us don’t do humble very well. Would you care for another slice? Thank you very much, but no. Now I assume that I have something to learn in every exchange! However, I’m afraid the alcohol factor keeps most reasonable efforts at bay and will be forever bathed in half-truths.

Compromise aside, NOBODY KNOWS with assurance if what is being espoused is true. Outside the physical laws of nature, this may be the only truth I’m certain of.

Everyone hold up your right hand and repeat after me: From this day forth in all my discussions with friends and strangers alike I will preface my dogma with—“in my opinion…”

Wouldn’t that be refreshing?


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