Good Morning Black As It Is,
For the two or three of you wasting your time, you may have noticed a shout out from ‘Big Sak’ that made an obscure reference to death. I think it’s time to be clear. How shall I say this? What could I say to make it all better? We all knew it was coming sooner or later but is anyone ever ready to go? It’s a heavy load I bear today. Why is it me that has to be the bearer of such news? I suppose there’s no real easy way to discuss this so I’ll just come out with it. My fellow curmudgeon (Jerry) El Poo is dead. He was the shinning light that burned too bright, and flamed out. The rest of us fed off this light and bore his foul aroma just to be near by. His caustic wit and crapulous charm will be missed. Me being master of the obvious, we’re all going to face the grim reaper, there is no escape. He died in much the same manner as he lived; filthy glasses, stained tee-shirt, choleric disposition, beer in hand, and three packs a day. Oddly smoke is still dribbling out of his nose. While in the morgue, the technicians were preparing the body for autopsy, and couldn’t remove the Coors Light from his grip. They literally had to saw off his hand at the wrist to remove the can. I think this says it all. In fact, being the person Dewey’s called to ID the body, I can attest to the above. We’re going to hold a memorial service today during “happy hour” (I’m sure that’s the way he’d want it) facing the western sky around dusk in the ‘smoking patio.’
All of you are invited. I know the two or three of you reading this maggot food cannot attend, but if you would; please help us memorialize our dear antediluvian friend by holding a beer in the air and generally point it toward Denver around 6:15 pm (Rocky Mountain Time) , it would be greatly appreciated. Management has been gracious enough to retire his bar stool and ashtray; items will be hoisted in the air above the bar all next week. For those of you that plan to attend, please prepare a few words as I intend to sacrifice a trivia question to say something about Poo, and will pass it down the bar for all to do the same. Although I think all this is fitting and respectful, but someone has got to blow chunks at the end of the last tribute to make it perfect. Hopefully Dv’ant can handle that untidy little task. See you all there at 6:15 pm.
A Sorrowful zuki