It always amazes me when I hear stories of hapless individuals getting scammed out of their life savings and left for dead. Typically the news story is about an 80 year old trying to donate money to a charitable cause and winds up getting bilked from some greasy guy without a conscious.
Theft comes in many forms though and not always tied to a scam. Last year Massachusetts tried to pass legislation making a person liable for things said to each other while dating or in an ongoing relationship. So hypothetically (I’ve never done this mind you), if for the sake of getting laid I told a woman I loved her and would marry her tomorrow and she agreed to have sex based on my statements, I could be held liable for damages. In a canonical sort of logic, the proposed bill if passed would have caused me to be subject to litigation from a vengeful woman hell bent on emasculation. I can’t imagine the can of worms that law would have opened!
I bring this up because we ALL say and do things to further our own agendas and justify those things as innocuous byproducts of doing business. However, the ease with which many will connive and the depths they will sink to cheat others is indicative of the overall mindset of our financial markets today. What sickens me is how these bastards pat themselves on the back for their philanthropic deeds then point them out whenever it becomes expedient. These bottom feeders don’t do ANYTHING unless they benefit from it. This is the worst kind of hypocrite!
I don’t want to dwell on the above as it’s too depressing so I’m going to get to the point. I purchased a Powerball ticket that I fully expected to extricate me from my current squalor and deposit me in Kona. I purchased the ticket in good faith and even prayed for good measure. Last Saturday’s drawing for 60 million was not forthcoming as expected.
I’ve retained an attorney on a contingency basis and we’re going after Powerball for breach of contract. I know what the two or three of you reading this pack of lies are thinking; “C’mon zuki each ticket clearly states the 176,000,000 to 1 odds, how could you possibly think you have a case?” I’m hip. Nobody said it would be easy. My attorney Harvey B. Fleecemuch is going to adopt the idea discussed above and go after them for being promised untold wealth in media ads and unapologetically failed to deliver the goods. The piss-ants at the Colorado Lottery actually laughed when I claimed the prize. I suspect it will be a landmark case.
For those of you that play state sponsored lotto or Powerball and feel as though you’ve been duped and misled by the exaggerated claims spewed from states greedy for lotto dollars and wish to collect for your pain and suffering, I’m taking donations for what’s sure to be an extended legal action. Please send your tax deductible donations to the following:
Zuki’s Improbable Legal Fund
PO Box 509
Denver, CO. 80123
God Bless You,